Submission by Kristi Burcaw

Editor’s note: Motherhood can be one of life’s greatest blessings, but it can also leave even the strongest mom feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and unsure of what to do next. Whether you’re facing sleepless nights with a baby, a toddler who suddenly refuses everything, sibling arguments, financial worries, difficult parenting decisions or simply wondering how you’re going to make it through the day, Christian mothers don’t have to search for every answer on their own. The Bible reminds us that when motherhood feels overwhelming, our first source of help, wisdom and strength is God.

Motherhood has a way of making us realize just how little we know. There are days when we have no idea why our child is crying, why the toddler is suddenly refusing everything or why the baby won’t sleep. We ask ourselves, “How am I going to make it through the rest of the day?” There are decisions to make, problems to solve, emotions to manage and little people depending on us. When we don’t know what to do, we naturally look for answers.

Where do we look? We Google, text friends, call our mom, listen to a podcast, read another parenting book or turn to social media.

None of these things are necessarily wrong. God has given us people, resources, wisdom and community for a reason. The important question to ask yourself in your desperation to find an answer is, “Did I go to God first?”

Psalm 121:1–2 says, “I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.” The psalmist asks a question and immediately answers it: Where does my help come from? The Lord.

As mothers, we can easily look for help everywhere else. Help is at our fingertips, and the world offers so many conflicting solutions that looking for help can become overwhelming itself.

We look for the perfect schedule. The perfect parenting technique. The perfect meal plan. The perfect discipline strategy. We ask other moms what worked for them and search for someone online who has experienced exactly what we’re experiencing. Now we can even look to AI for answers.

But what if our first response were different? What if, before we reached for our phones, we reached for God? What if, before we asked everyone else what they thought, we asked God for wisdom? What if, instead of depending only on our spouse to handle things, we depended on God to guide us? What if, before we tried to figure everything out ourselves, we simply said, “Lord, I need You. Please help me”?

One of the most comforting truths about motherhood is that God never asked us to know everything. As soon as that pregnancy test reads “positive,” we aren’t handed a complete guide to motherhood.

James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God.” Notice that the verse doesn’t say, “If you lack wisdom, figure it out yourself.” It doesn’t say, “Find the mom who has it all together and copy her.” I have yet to meet a mom who does have it all together. It says to ask God!

How often do we feel like we should already know what to do? We can feel embarrassed when we don’t have an answer, especially when it seems like every other mom has figured it out. But needing wisdom isn’t a failure. Asking questions isn’t a failure. Needing help isn’t a failure.

Going to God first doesn’t mean that we should never ask another person for help. God created us for community. Scripture repeatedly speaks about the importance of wise counsel, encouragement, friendship and carrying one another’s burdens. Sometimes God’s answer to our prayer for help is another person.

Maybe He gives us a friend who listens. Maybe He gives us an older woman who offers wisdom. Maybe He gives us a husband who steps in when we’re exhausted. Maybe He gives us a pastor or mentor who speaks truth into our lives. Maybe He gives us a doctor, counselor or teacher who has knowledge we don’t have. These people can be incredible gifts from God.

The problem isn’t asking people for help. The problem comes when we begin to depend on people instead of depending on God. We can seek advice and community while remembering that God is ultimately our source of help, wisdom and peace.

Last year, my husband was deployed one week after I gave birth to our fourth child. He was out of the country, and I was trying to figure out how I would handle nine months of solo parenting while newly postpartum. I had to explain where Daddy was almost every day while constantly worrying about him and doubting that I could make it through.

At first, I thought it would be best to “hermit” myself inside and get through it alone. I quickly realized that was unrealistic with toddlers and that believing I didn’t need help or community was unhealthy.

God blessed me with amazing friends and family who kept me going. At night, I would lie down, cry a few tears of exhaustion and pray for God to give me the strength to continue. He did just that. A friend would send an encouraging text. A co-worker would bring me a Diet Coke. Families from church would bring dinner.

I was going to be OK, but not because of my own strength or knowledge, and not only because I had a good support system. I was going to be OK because I have a God who is wise and provides when I go to Him.

We live in a world where answers are always within reach. Have a parenting question? Google it. Don’t know what that rash is? Search it. Don’t know what to make for dinner? Look it up. Don’t know how to handle a behavioral problem? Look to a parenting influencer. Need encouragement? Scroll through social media.

We have access to an incredible amount of information, but information and wisdom aren’t the same thing.

We can know what hundreds of other mothers would do and still not know what God wants us to do. Proverbs 3:5–6 says, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”

God isn’t asking us to stop thinking, learning or seeking wise counsel. He is asking us not to make our own knowledge our ultimate authority.

So, before we Google, pray. Before we panic, pray. Before we respond, pray. Before we make a decision, pray. Before we assume we know what to do, pray. Sometimes that prayer may be five minutes long. Sometimes it may be five seconds. Here are some simple prayers that can completely change our posture:

“Lord, give me wisdom.”

“Lord, help me respond with grace.”

“Lord, I don’t know what to do.”

“Lord, give me strength.”

“Lord, help me trust You.”

Sometimes motherhood can feel too heavy. Philippians 4:6–7 tells us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”

See that word everything? The verse doesn’t say to bring God only the big things, the emergencies or the concerns we consider spiritual enough. Bring everything!

Bring Him the sleepless nights, sibling arguments, difficult decisions, financial concerns, exhaustion, guilt and frustration. God tells us to bring it all to Him. When we do, Philippians tells us that the peace of God will guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Sometimes God changes the circumstances. Sometimes He gives us wisdom about what to do next. Sometimes He sends someone to help us. Sometimes He simply gives us the strength to take the next step. Whatever His answer looks like, we can know that we don’t have to carry it alone.

Let me encourage you with this final thought: Mama, you do not have to have it all figured out!

Maybe you’re in a season of motherhood when you feel like you should have it all together. Maybe you’re overwhelmed by decisions. Maybe you’re constantly second-guessing yourself. Maybe you feel like everyone else knows what they’re doing and you’re just trying to keep up. Maybe you’ve been looking everywhere for answers.

If that’s you, consider taking a step back today.

Put down the phone. Close the parenting app. Stop comparing yourself to the mom on Instagram. Take a breath and talk to your Father in heaven.

You don’t have to come with the perfect words. You don’t have to have your emotions under control. You don’t even have to know exactly what you need.

You can simply come and talk.

Hebrews 4:16 says, “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

Grace to help in time of need. That’s what we need as mothers. Not perfection, but grace. Not all the answers, but wisdom. Not the strength to do everything ourselves, but His strength.

So, Mama, ask for help. Call your friend. Seek wise counsel. Read the book. Listen to the podcast. Ask the doctor. Learn from the women who have gone before you.

But before you do any of that, go to God.

The next time you don’t know what to do or feel overwhelmed, ask, “Where does my help come from?” You already know the answer: “My help comes from the Lord.”

Feature photo by Alex Pasarelu on Unsplash