Submission by Dr. Glenn Mollette
The joy of life is usually found in our relationships—family, friends, co-workers, business partners, military comrades, fellow Republicans or Democrats, church members, recreational buddies, teammates, and more. These are the people we know. We spend our time with them.
These relationships shape our lives. We work, pray, love, succeed, fail, laugh, and hurt with these people. While many of these relationships are fulfilling, they can also be disappointing and negatively impact us. An old saying from a country preacher goes, “To live there above with those we love will be glory, but to live here below with those we know is a different story.”
Usually, life’s greatest disappointments come from the very people we count on. They are the ones who hurt or disappoint us in some way. There is the marriage partner who fails us. The sibling, child, or even parent who breaks our heart. The business partner who stabs us in the back. Or maybe the people at church who judge, condemn, and shun us. Yet we find that our true relationship is with God and not with them. And if we all maintain a good relationship with God, He will enable us to help, love, and forgive one another. Most of us need that often.
Too often people disappoint us because we have unrealistic expectations. Others are just like you and me—they aren’t perfect and make mistakes, just as we do. We have all said or done things that disappointed others. None of us are perfect.
Somehow, we must extend grace to others and hope they extend it to us. We all need grace. As the saying goes, when you point your finger at someone, four fingers point back at you.
Life continues with our acquaintances, friends, relatives, and those with whom we work and play. To try to do otherwise would mean living in a cave, on a remote island, or in isolation. For some, this might feel appealing—especially when trying to write a book, finish a project, or complete a special task. But separation cannot be a permanent solution.
The biblical character Joseph had his heart broken by his brothers, who betrayed him and sold him into slavery. Years later, he saved them from starvation and cared for them for the rest of their lives. His story is one of grace, forgiveness, and taking the higher road with those who treated him badly.
Most of us would say, “Hurt me once, shame on you. Hurt me twice, shame on me.” That may be true, but each of us must decide for ourselves to whom we give a second chance.
