Submission by Dr. Glenn Mollette
How many friends do you have? Possibly more—or fewer—than you think.
Your real friends show up when everyone else has walked away.
We have many acquaintances in life, but not that many close friends. How many people truly know you—your hurts, fears, problems, stresses, and failures—and still love you and want to be around you? So many of our relationships today are surface-level. People only know your exterior.
Most likely, your spouse or significant other knows you well, still loves you, and is there for you. Most parents are there for their children and grandchildren—but they’re family. You don’t usually consider them friends because the relationship is deeper and more intimate. However, it’s a blessing if you feel like you have family members who are also friends.
A true friend will be there regardless of your success or failure. They rejoice in your victories and hurt with you in your defeats. Real friendship doesn’t hinge on failure. Friendship supports, helps, and communicates. Most of us don’t open up unless we feel safe. You don’t want to talk to someone who will blast you with judgment and condemnation. A good friend will listen and try to steer you in the right direction—without emotionally crippling you. No one wants to share their dreams or pain with someone who’s critical, arrogant, or a know-it-all.
Some of your best friends may not be the people you spend the most time with. They might be the ones you only see occasionally, but when you do, there’s a peaceful bond of respect, love, and open dialogue.
A real friend will try to be there for you if you need them. A real friend will help problem-solve, with the assurance that what you share won’t go any further. A real friend can keep your secrets—if you have any. A real friend won’t stab you in the back or cut your throat. An old friend of mine who has since passed away used to say about an acquaintance, “He would cut his mother’s throat to get ahead.” Keep this in mind: if someone has betrayed you before, they’re likely to do it again. If they fooled you once, shame on them. If you let them fool you twice, shame on you.
Life is interesting with the people we encounter along the way. We meet a lot of good people—and some who aren’t so great. It’s critical to our well-being that we learn to tell the difference—and the sooner, the better.
Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” —John 15:13
He certainly did that.
Give thanks today for your friend—or friends. It’s always good to make a new one, and it’s certainly worthwhile to maintain an old one—if it’s a good one.
